Can giraffes cough?

Can giraffes cough?

According to some, no. Fiction. But what giraffes can do is stoop
low, lift their stubby little paws and board a Boeing 747 home to
South Africa. Fact.

This is precisely what one little giraffe did when she headed south
for the wilting days of British summer, the whole of autumn 2010 and
a fair chunk of winter in order to dip one toe in the Indian Ocean,
another in the Atlantic and stick her head above the canopy and nibble
on jungle.

Follow her African Safari Picnic over Table Mountain and through the
undergrowth as she becomes the first giraffe to contribute to the

Wednesday 18 August 2010

my life so far in numbers

10. The number of days I have spent living inside my car
9. The number of cooked breakfasts I have been offered
8. The number of times per day someone looks at my car and asks if I have been driving through open sewage
7. The number of litres of petrol I'm fairly certain my tank is haemorrhaging per hour since I drove over that tree stump
6. The number of different chemists I have visited to dose me up real nice for my chin-based spider-bite-infection-allergy-virus-rash
6. The number of different opinions I have been given by different chemists with regards to my chin-based spider-bite-infection-allergy-virus-rash
5. The number of hospitals I have passed and considered entering but not really had the time
4. The number of Persian arthouse weepies recommended to me by the 17-year-old Umbro shellsuit kid who moved to Cape Town from Lewisham a year ago and now works in my local video shop
3. The number of elephants I have seen (daddy, mummy and sprog) eating lunch behind my car
2. The number of times I have had to stand outside a guest house under a telephone pylon or in their garage  with my phone resting on a saddle stirrup in order to get one bar of reception
1. The number of cooked breakfasts I have politely, reluctantly - and purely due to time constraints - declined
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