LISTENING to an unidentified Afrikaans radio station. I can't understand what they're saying but they seem to be having a riot.
NODDING along, smiling politely as guest-house owners tell me, in rich, rich detail, how they made their own floral pelmets and African-themed doilies.
AVOIDING the meth-addled parking attendants who offer to watch over my car in exchange for petty change but who clearly can't remember their own postcodes and probably don't have one anyway.
ALTERNATING between cups of coffee and rooibos for the sake of my already hyperactive kidneys.
REMEMBERING not to lock my car keys in the auto-lock boot again.
SMUGGLING sandwiches out of breakfast buffets.
BANDAGING up my face with antihistamine and gauze after a spider took a chunk out of my chin while I caught zeds in a jungle-pitched tent.
SCARING local children with my bandaged-up face.
SPOTTING a daddy elephant, mummy elephant and baby elephant scoffing grass just 5ft away from my car as I packed up the boot in a game park.
DRINKING free bedroom sherry because it's too cold to leave the room and get a proper drink.
TURNING ON electric blankets.
WRAPPING myself up in electric blankets, antihistamine and gauze, tucking into smoked salmon and cucumber sandwiches made nine hours ago and drinking free bedroom sherry while dreaming of pelmet patterns.
No comments:
Post a Comment